Archive | July 2013

The Food Chain – Why Vegetarians Are More Annoyed With Each Other Than They Are With You.

 

This Is What Vegetarians See When They Watch You Tuck Into A Steak Dinner

This Is What Vegetarians See When They Watch You Tuck Into A Steak Dinner

When the host of a dinner party is informed by his missus that one of his guests is vegetarian, there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Cries of “There’s always fucking one isn’t there?” and “If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?” And so on and so forth. There is much moaning about having to use separate utensils and cook a separate dish, in a way that just wouldn’t happen if the guest in question had been allergic to nuts or fish. Read More…

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The Seven Habits of Highly Reflective People – The Signposts Of Depression And How To Spot Them

 

It Can Get You Into A Lot Of Trouble Thinking, Errol. I Shouldn't Do To Much Of It If I Were You.

It Can Get You Into A Lot Of Trouble Thinking, Errol. I Shouldn’t Do To Much Of It If I Were You.

Thankfully it doesn’t happen very often, but occasionally I get accused of being deep. This isn’t me being self-deprecating, by the way. I’m not saying “yes, well, I am deep but I try not to be”. Deep is bad. Deep is not your friend. Deep is a symptom of a burgeoning mental imbalance. This is because saying a person is “Deep” is just another way of saying that they think way too much. Read More…

Gay Abandon – Some Things About Homosexuality That I Don’t Quite Understand

 

Some Ordinary Folk, Just Increasing The Amount Of Love In The World

Some Ordinary Folk, Just Increasing The Amount Of Love In The World

There’s not enough love in the world. There’s lust aplenty of course, otherwise there wouldn’t be seven billion of us. But love, not quite so much. So the success –albeit partial- that the gay community is enjoying in getting their right to be married recognized is very encouraging. Don’t quite get the logic of anyone, gay or straight, wanting have the Government and the Revenue Service people as silent partners in their relationship, but there’s no denying that there are fiscal advantages. Read More…

The Customer Is Always Right – Why Growth Isn’t Always Good And How The Man At The Top Always Wins

 

Not All Germans Are Sensible, But They Do Tend To Wear Ties

Not All Germans Are Sensible, But They Do All Tend To Wear Ties

The world wide recession bites ever deeper. As it does, the phrase “treat every customer as if they were your only customer” is more pertinent than ever. Good customer service has a tendency to flourish during harsh economic times. People simply have less money to spend, or are less willing to spend the money they do have, so every sale becomes harder and harder to win as time goes on.

There is another thing which also flourishes in times of economic woe. Bad management practice. The people at the very top of companies always use recessions as an excuse to expand and gain market share. If you are at the top of the corporate food chain, it’s happy days when a recession is officially announced. If you’re a CEO, it’s the ideal opportunity to make drastic cuts and siphon off the money into the shareholders’ trough. You freeze wages and stop recruiting. Cuts, cuts, cuts is the name of the game on an operational basis. Gorge yourself on the cash until even your banker in the Cayman Islands starts to laugh a little nervously. Then use the remaining money to expand your business on its new shonky “streamlined model”  because “we are fighting for our lives and expansion is the only way to survive”. Read More…

The Cynic’s Guide To Relationships – How Pat Benatar and Norman Stanley Fletcher Can Aid Your Love Life

Up That Rigging You Monkeys, Aloft! There's No Chains To Hold You Now!

 

I have one of those faces that women seem to love to confide in. It’s also one of those faces most of them tend to want to slap should its owner attempt to step outside of the Friend Zone, but that’s fine. There’s a lot of women out there and you don’t need a terribly big hit rate to be a reasonably successful swordsman. Besides, I’ve been practically married to the same girl for 12 years now, so my swashbuckling is done on a limited basis when work dictates we both are in the same room and aren’t completely knackered. Read More…