Archive | September 2015

The Idiot Test – How The Internet Treats You Like A Moron And Why It Is Often Bang On The Money

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Comic book annuals back in the 1970s had a lot of what you might call “filler” in them. Cartoon strips are expensive to produce and so the annuals were padded out with facts and quizzes and stock photograph articles about Harrier Jump Jets and that sort of thing. Read More…

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This Is Your War. This Is Your War On Drugs – How America Is Finally Realizing That Richard Nixon May Have Been Wrong About Something

Allegedly

 

In 1971, Richard Milhous Nixon announced the war on drugs. That war has been raging for 43 years, but it looks like it is finally coming to an end. And it looks like the American Government has lost and that the people on drugs have won. Read More…

The Ballad Of Pigfucker Dave – The Secret Agenda Behind The Pig Gate Scandal

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Poor David Cameron. Poor, poor (obscenely rich and achingly privileged) David Cameron. He’s been somewhat stabbed in the back by The Daily Mail, hasn’t he? Read More…

The Eyebrows Have It – Why Ladies Need To Think Very Carefully Before Reaching For Those Tweezers

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I don’t normally pay much attention to Ladies’ fashion. Questions such as “Are short skirts and skimpy tops going to be in this Summer” are about the extent of my mental involvement in this regard. Read More…

BLIND HATES – Why Your Friends Are Not Really On Your Side When You Are Trying To Find Romance and How To Spot When They Are Stitching You Up

Speed Dating? Oh Dear. This Requires Qaaludes, Mescaline And A Smattering Of Ether.

When you’ve been “on the market again” for a certain amount of time, your friends will inevitably start trying to set you up on dates. This is because, to them, “on the market again” is a euphemism for “on the shelf”. This is what blind dates are all about: euphemisms. Read More…

Yes, It Fucking Did Hurt When I Fell From Heaven – The Conversation That Led To Lucifer’s Fall From Grace

Bugger!

Bugger!

It’s a lovely morning in Heaven –as it always is – and God is working at his Celestial Drawing Board. Lucifer comes in to bring him his morning pot of tea.

God : Hello Lucifer. You’re looking particularly luminous this morning.

Lucifier : I am merely a prism who refracts your blinding magnificence Lord. I’ve brought you a plate of ginger biscuits with your tea this morning

God: Oh, excellent. Do feel free to help yourself to both. Pull up a seat. There’s something I want to show you Read More…

The Significant Comma – Why Punctuation Really Does Matter If You Want To Keep Anything A Surprise

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I’ll warn you now, this post contains a spoiler. I’m going to be telling you the ending of Patrick McGoohan’s classic 1967 nonsense spectacular “The Prisoner”. Well, it’s been out for nearly 50 years now, so if you haven’t watched it yet, you’re probably never going to. Read More…