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Exploring Your Inner Shelf – Why Every Straight Man Harbours A Secret Gay Refugee And How To Harness His Awesome Secret Powers

Exploring Your Inner Shelf – Why Every Straight Man Harbours A Secret Gay Refugee And How To Harness His Awesome Secret Powers

There is an increasing amount of credence given to the idea that a man can improve himself by getting in touch with his inner child, or worse still, his feminine side. Read More…

There Can Be Only One – Soulmates, Dragons And Unicorn Sandwiches

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The Internet. It’s not all amusing cats, sex and Facebook. Well, okay, it’s about 96 percent those things but there’s other stuff on there too. Motivational memes are pretty popular. Happiness is a subject that crops up a great deal. Lots of unhappy people on the internet, apparently. As anyone who has spent more than five minutes interacting on Twitter can tell you. Read More…

A League Of Your Own – How Peter Cook And Voltaire Can Help You Get Any Woman Into Bed

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Fellas. Have you ever been out on the town and looked at a woman and she’s caught your eye and then she’s quickly glanced away? At that moment, she’s maybe turned around to one of her friends, apparently casually chatting but also playing around with her hair a bit. Have you recognized that sign and prepared yourself to go over and talk to her, then at the last minute thought “Nah. Don’t bother. She’s out of your league mate”? Read More…

Sugar And Spice – The Terrible Truth About What Women Really Think

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When I was a little boy, my mum and her friends would sometimes recite a little rhyme to me. It went like this: “Michael Grimes is no good/Chop him up for firewood/When he’s dead, boil his head/And make it into gingerbread”. Read More…

It’s Hedy, Not Hedley – How I’m Thrilled A 1940s Film Star Is Today’s Google Doodle And Why You Should Be Too

I was a bit of an odd child. Some people who know me might say that this should come as no surprise, seeing that I am a bit of an odd adult. I’d love to be able to say “fuck them, what do they know?” but I’d be on shaky ground as far as empirical evidence goes if I’m being honest with myself. Read More…

The Eyebrows Have It – Why Ladies Need To Think Very Carefully Before Reaching For Those Tweezers

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I don’t normally pay much attention to Ladies’ fashion. Questions such as “Are short skirts and skimpy tops going to be in this Summer” are about the extent of my mental involvement in this regard. Read More…

Good Will Shunting – Why There Are Some Facts Of Life We Might Be Better Off Not Finding Out.

Punked!

Punked!

 

Back in 1997, people warmed to the touching story of Good Will Hunting. Not so much the film itself, which is a bit schmaltzy and for most people is the sort of movie you watch late at night when a few too many glasses of wine have made you a bit weepy anyway. Personally, I go for Apollo 13 when I’m in that condition. Read More…

The E-Mail Eunuch – How The Girls Are Beating The Boys At Their Own Game (But Only In The First Half)

Shock And Disapproval. The Natural Ground States Of The Daily Mail Reader.

Shock And Disapproval. The Natural Ground States Of The Daily Mail Reader.

 You see lots of conflicting stories in the newspapers. Global warming is real/Global warming is disproved. Coffee protects you against cancer/coffee is carcinogenic. Lazy immigrants are living the Life of Reilly on benefits/sneaky immigrants are stealing our jobs. Often these stories are in the same newspaper: The Daily Mail. That’s okay though. Daily mail readers are very good a cognitive dissonance.

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Get Out! – Why Some Homosexuals Shocked Me Back In The 1980s And How I Recovered From It

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That is the first school photo ever taken of me. I was four years old. My mum was a huge fan of Liberace. You can tell can’t you? Read More…

Lesbians – Why Men Are Obsessed By Them And How That Fact Leaves Me Slightly Bemused

Lesbians. Boring.

Lesbians. Boring.

 

Lesbians. Straight men are obsessed with them, aren’t they? Why? It’s not as if women are obsessed with gay men. Oh yes, every girl wants a Gay Best Friend to listen to her and go shoe shopping with her and give her tips on how to make anal sex less painful. (The trick, by the way, is not to be the one on the receiving end of it). Read More…