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Backpfeifengesicht! – Some Insights Into The Mysterious Workings Of The German Mind


We English tend to look down on the Germans. A traditional chant by our football fans at matches against the Germans is “Two World Wars And One World Cup, Doo-Dah Doo-Dah”. To the tune of the Camptown Races.

Though this chant is starting to lose its power due to our “One World Cup” having been won over fifty years ago and Germany having won The World Cup four times since that glorious day in 1966. Read More…


Toki Pona – Fluency In Silence And The Assassination Of Donald Trump


Apart from a few scintillating highlights, 2016 has been the worst fucking year of my entire life. I don’t feel too badly about it though, because broadly speaking 2016 has been a bad year for pretty much everybody.

So many dead celebrities. So many fallen heroes that looking back on this year is like viewing the killing fields at the end of the first day of The Battle of the Somme. Read More…

The Significant Comma – Why Punctuation Really Does Matter If You Want To Keep Anything A Surprise


I’ll warn you now, this post contains a spoiler. I’m going to be telling you the ending of Patrick McGoohan’s classic 1967 nonsense spectacular “The Prisoner”. Well, it’s been out for nearly 50 years now, so if you haven’t watched it yet, you’re probably never going to. Read More…

The Creativity Vortex – Some Thoughts On Writing Brought To You By Harper Lee And Carl Douglas


Everyone who writes for a living- or even just as a hobby- inevitably ends up locked in a cycle. That cycle is a cycle of thought, and it goes something like this: Read More…

Greece Is The Word – Why The Political Future Of Europe May Hinge On Puctuation


Wednesday was the hottest July day in British history. It was also the day when Greece did the inevitable and became the first ever developed country to default on an IMF loan. This has put the IMF in a tricky situation. Read More…

Get In The Back Of The Van! – How A Simple Phrase From A 1980s Movie Can Help You Cope With Idiots


If One More Person Names Shawshank As Their Favourite Movie, I'll Slit This Man's Throat

If One More Person Names Shawshank As Their Favourite Movie, I’ll Slit This Man’s Throat

Everyone has a list of favourite movies. My top five list of my favourite movies is quite a fluid thing. Read More…

A Shibboleth of Squirrels – How England Avoided Being Invaded By Defending Itself With Trick Words

Shibboleth (noun) – A custom, principle or belief distinguishing a particular class or group of people. Origin : 17th Century, from the Hebrew Sibolet ‘ear of corn’, used as a test of nationality by its difficult pronunciation (Judges ch12 v6) Read More…

Swag – How Writers Steal Things And Why That’s Perfectly OK


Mr Jagger. He Likes To Swagger. His Name Is Mick...You Fill In The Rest

Mr Jagger. He Likes To Swagger. His Name Is Mick…You Fill In The Rest

All writers have Swag. And I don’t mean Swag in the way that is bandied around the internet nowadays. I know for sure that I definitely don’t mean that, because I have only a very vague notion as to what the term refers to. The best definition I’ve been able to come up with for “having Swag” is this : “Acting like a twat, yet remaining mysteriously likeable to other twats”. Read More…