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Toki Pona – Fluency In Silence And The Assassination Of Donald Trump


Apart from a few scintillating highlights, 2016 has been the worst fucking year of my entire life. I don’t feel too badly about it though, because broadly speaking 2016 has been a bad year for pretty much everybody.

So many dead celebrities. So many fallen heroes that looking back on this year is like viewing the killing fields at the end of the first day of The Battle of the Somme. Read More…


Bang Bang – How Almost Being Mugged Led To Me Almost Getting Off With A Beautiful Woman

One chilly evening, back at the end of the 1990s, a man tried to mug me with an imaginary handgun. This made sense in an odd way. Most of the time, my money is completely imaginary. Read More…

Charlton Heston Put His Bullet Proof Vest On – How The NRA Are Right. Sort Of

That's It Charlton. Cover Up The One That Says

That’s It Charlton. Cover Up The One That Says “Thou Shalt Not Kill

I was a great admirer of Charlton Heston when I was a kid. After all, it takes a person’s entire day’s energy resources just to watch Ben Hur. Imagine how exhausting it was to actually make the thing. This is why the film is only shown on Bank Holidays at midday, to give people a legitimate excuse for lounging around listlessly for the rest of the day. It lends that indefinable Four O’Clock ennui we all should be ashamed of some kind of basis in fact. Can’t be arsed to do anything until bed time? Of course you can’t. You’ve just valiantly sat through Ben Hur. Read More…