A Brief History Of Hong Kong Hip Hop – How Bruce Lee Invented Everything And Audrey Hepburn Liked It Rough

It is a little known fact that Bruce Lee invented Hip Hop. Like most people, I had assumed that Hip Hop came Straight Outta Compton and was hammered into shape by Dr Dre and his crew. Not so. Scratching, mixing, beatboxing. All invented by Bruce Lee.  Don’t believe me? Here’s the proof:

bruce-on-the-decks

There you go. What can’t speak can’t lie. A photo of Bruce spinning the decks back in 1972. Except of course that photos can lie. If you believe that Bruce Lee invented Hip Hop, you are a gullible idiot. That photo is heavily photo-shopped. Thanks to digital technology, you can’t really believe anything anymore.

For instance, here’s proof that Audrey Hepburn was a big fan of Sadomasochism:

ec84d4300b38766cfb4976e4478a08c5

She wasn’t, of course. Well, she might have been. Who knows? But that photo is not proof of the assertion that Audrey was a big old submissive because it’s just a retouched version of this photo.

yawn

Bit of a shame that, really.

 And the Bruce Lee “Hip Hop” photo is just a retouched version of this:

bruce-lee

A photo of Bruce dancing in his kitchen.

Bruce Lee was a great innovator. Some people claim that he invented MMA. He didn’t. Even the MMA people didn’t invent MMA. The Ancient Greeks did. They had a thing called Pankration, which literally means “all force”. It was all in fighting where the only things you weren’t allowed to do to your opponent was bite them or gouge their eyes.

Even if the Ancient Greeks hadn’t come up with Pankration, Colonial America had a thing called “Rough and Tumble” which was very similar. Except that you were positively encouraged to bite your opponent and gouge out his eyes.

So, Bruce Lee didn’t didn’t invent Hip Hop and he didn’t invent MMA. But take a closer look at the un-retouched photo. You may notice that Bruce looks a bit like he’s off his tits in that photo. There is a good reason for this. He was.

Those of you who were of a certain age in the late Eighties and early Nineties may also find what he is doing hauntingly familiar. The sheen of sweat. The facial expression. The hand positions.

Whatever Bruce Lee didn’t invent, he apparently did invent Raving. On drugs. In 1972. In his kitchen.

© Copyright Michael Grimes 2015

 

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About thedailygrime

At that awkward age - too young to be a grumpy old man, but just acerbic and downtrodden enough to have an opinion. Read it here.

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