The Eyebrows Have It – Why Ladies Need To Think Very Carefully Before Reaching For Those Tweezers
I don’t normally pay much attention to Ladies’ fashion. Questions such as “Are short skirts and skimpy tops going to be in this Summer” are about the extent of my mental involvement in this regard. Come to think of it, I don’t pay that much attention to Men’s fashion either. There really is very little point in me doing so.
I am, unfortunately, one of those chaps who is just naturally rumpled. The cut of the cloth, its drape and its hang, are irrelevant to me. When I have been wearing an outfit for more than two minutes, I look very much like an unmade bed. After I have been wearing it for a few hours, I look not so much like an unmade bed than a burst mattress.
However, one recent development in Ladies’ fashion is catching even my uninterested eye. The rigidly defined eyebrow. Fashions in eyebrow shaping come and go like any other. In the 70s, women shaved off their eyebrows and drew back on facsimiles of Errol Flynn’s skinny moustache. In the 80’s they just let them grow wild. Currently, their eyebrows are being sculpted with geometric precision.
This is all well and good, but younger women are getting very competitive about it. They are trying to “out-eyebrow” each other. This is resulting in a look which I believe is referred to as “Eyebrows Drawn On With A Sharpie”. And as the competition steepens, some girls’ eyebrows don’t look so much “drawn on with a Sharpie” as “Tattoo’d On With A Turkey Baster.”
Ladies, the photograph at the top of this post is of Audrey Hepburn. She was the most glamorous woman of the 20th Century (with the possible exception of Heddy Lamarr). Even she couldn’t quite pull this look off. However pretty you may be, I think I can say with confidence that you ain’t no Audrey Hepburn. So please, give the tweezers a rest for five minutes.
© Copyright Michael Grimes 2014.