Doin’ The Lambeth Walk – The Queen’s Secret Past And Where Princess Margaret Hid Her Nazis
Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the last few days, you will doubtless be aware of the photo above. It was published in The Sun newspaper, in case you missed their subtle product placement there.
In case you have been living in a cave for the last few days – maybe a potholing expedition went a bit wrong- then allow me to talk you through that photo. It was taken at Balmoral in 1933. The lady on the left is the Queen Mother. The chap at the back is King Edward VIII. The little girl in the white dress is Princess Margaret. And the figure in the centre is her big sister. Her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.
You may have noticed that both the Queen Mother and Queen Elizabeth are doing something with their arms. And what they are doing is exactly what you think they’re doing. They are both throwing a Nazi salute.
This has caused “a bit of a kerfuffle” as we say in Britain. (Translation, if you are American : “Massive Shitstorm”). There is a perfectly innocent explanation for this photo, though.
The Queen was a Nazi spy.
A fact that we like to gloss over in Britain is that out Royal Family is German. Windsor is not their real surname. They picked that out of a hat in 1917, German surnames not being all that popular in that particular year for some reason.
The Royal Family’s real surname is Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. That’s a pretty damn German name. Mind you, it could be argued that the Royal Family’s surname is, technically, Prince Philip’s surname. In which case it would be Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glucksburg. Which, if anything, is even more German. A bit odd, seeing that Prince Philip is Greek.
During the war, as a good and loyal German, The Queen- or Princess Elizabeth as she was then known- spied for The Fatherland.
When the balloon went up for the Germans and it was obvious they couldn’t possibly win, Princess Elizabeth and Princess Margaret went out for a night on the tiles. Or did they? Well actually, Margaret probably did. She was always a bit of a hedonist and probably spent VE Night “entertaining” as many soldiers and sailors as she could get her hands on.
But Elizabeth? Well, she was meeting up with her German handler to be debriefed on how not to get found out for her wartime espionage activities.
People wasted a lot of time looking for Nazis in South America. They were actually all on the island of Mustique, where Elizabeth had persuaded her sister to hide them after the war. If you look at any photos of Princess Margaret messing about with Roddy Llewelyn in the 1970s, you can see the Nazis hiding among the coconut trees.
Is that really true? Was our current Queen a Nazi Spy? Well, of course she fucking wasn’t. None of the Royal Family supported the Nazis. Apart from Edward VIII of course, but he was an idiot and that’s why he was never crowned King.
The Royal Family stood by the people of Britain during World War Two. They famously refused to move out of London during The Blitz. Fair enough, they were living in a palace, but that still wouldn’t have stopped bombs being dropped on them. And several were. The palace sustained nine direct hits.
Look at that controversial photo again. There’s something you might notice about it. To my eye, the people involved appear to be involved in an activity known by psychologists as “taking the piss”.
I’d like to think they were doing what the makers of the following film were doing:
Even if Her (future) Maj wasn’t taking the mickey, then you have to put the photo in historical context. The Nazi salute didn’t mean back then what it does now. The horrific events that lend the Nazi salute its terrible resonance hadn’t happened yet.
To play Devil’s Advocate, let’s assume that Her (future) Maj was a big fan of Hitler. She wouldn’t be the only person fooled by him. Hitler was Time Magazine’s “Man Of The Year” in 1938.
In the same year, a British politician said of Hitler:
“One may dislike Hitler’s system, yet admire his patriotic achievement. If our country were defeated, I hope we would find a champion so indomitable to restore our courage and lead us back to our place among the nations.”
Which politician said that? Winston Churchill of course. Who else?
So let’s assume that The Queen was a big old Hitler fan when that photo was taken. That she truly believed in Hitler. There’s something else to notice about The Queen in that photo. She’s only six years old. She probably believed in Santa Claus and The Tooth Fairy too.
So let’s not read too much into it, eh?
© Copyright Michael Grimes 2015