The Gay Olympics – Why The Winter Olympics Might Be A Cry For Help Deep From The Heart Of Vladimir Putin
We are nearly halfway through the Winter Olympics now. Or as I’m starting to think of it, the “Let’s see who can make up the stupidest name for an event competition.” With the Summer Olympics, the events do pretty much what they say on the tin. It’s not quite so straight forward with the Winter variety.
There’s the Skeleton Bob (sounds like a character from Pirates of the Caribbean). There’s The Luge (sounds distressingly like something to do with snot). And there’s my personal favourite The Ladies’ Bumps. I was terribly excited about that. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be slaloming and hot dogging down a slope that looks like it’s covered in gigantic white mole hills.
Mildly amusing as the names of some of the events are, they are not what the Winter Olympics are going to be remembered for. They are going to be remembered for the following. Corruption, obviously. They are being held in Russia, after all. Also the fact that they are being held in the most inappropriate venue possible (it was colder in Florida yesterday than it was in Sochi, see Corruption). But mostly they will be remembered for being overshadowed the embarrassing anti-homosexuality legislation that Russia has recently enshrined in law.
There was talk of Britain boycotting the Winter Olympics, but that would be rather hypocritical given the fact that Britain introduced the self-same law in 1988 and took 12 uncomfortable and shameful years to repeal it. So the idea was dropped pretty sharpish. (See my previous post, Blatant Homosexuals for further details http://tinyurl.com/lha75oc)
The whole of the Sochi Winter Olympics was apparently masterminded by Vladimir Putin himself. He had some sort of messianic vision about it as he was wandering in the wilderness. And by wandering in the wilderness, I mean drinking Harvey Wallbangers in Sochi, a place which is the favourite summer yachting resort of Russia’s burgeoning oligarchy. (Once again, see Corruption.) These Games are costing more than all of the previous ones put together. Bearing in mind that apart from during World War Two, there’s been a Winter Olympics every four years since 1924. Someone somewhere is making an awful lot of money.
Vladimir Putin is notoriously anti-gay. So naturally the Winter Olympics, being driven by Mr Putin’s vision, are reflecting this. Apart from the fact that Lesbian band Tatu were the main act at the opening ceremony. Fair enough, Tatu were fake lesbians but the video for “All The Things She Said” was pretty convincing. Also there is the rather bizarre spectacle of Mr Putin himself hugging one of the openly lesbian medal winners.
Clearly something odd is going on. Vladimir Putin is ex KGB. He knows how propaganda works. It’s a well known fact that if you want to popularise something, the best way to achieve that is to ban it. It worked a treat with alcohol during the prohibition era and the consumption of cocaine has trebled since the commencement of the War On Drugs.
It’s highly likely that the big lump of confusion that is the Winter Olympics is a reflection of the confusion in the mind of Vladimir Putin. He divorced Mrs Putin last year. His alleged affair with gymnast Alina Kabaeva smacks of over compensation. His promotion of the anti- gay laws and odd behaviour at The Games suggest that he’s preparing himself to come out of the closet. Which might explain why he was more interested in hugging a lesbian speedskater than he was in watching The Ladies’ Bumps.
© Copyright Michael Grimes 2014