You can’t be too careful when it comes to packages from Canada

This reminds me of an incident that happened in my native city of Newcastle. The chemistry department of one of the Universities was expecting the delivery of a piece of equipment called a Bomb Calorimeter. When it arrived, there was no one there to sign for it, so the delivery driver just dropped it off outside the chemistry building. Due to the driver’s personal system of package identification, the cardboard box the equipment came in had the word “Bomb” written on it in black marker pen. As a fireman, I’m sure you can guess what happened next.

Ned's Blog

The afternoon started out like any other: leave the office, walk two blocks home, pass through our white picket gate toward the front steps, then holler “EVERYBODY STAY IN THE HOUSE” while dropping into an army crawl. Naturally, no one at home had any interest in coming outside until I yelled for them NOT to — at which point three of our children and both dogs attempted to squeeze through the doorway simultaneously, closely resembling a horde of diarrhea sufferers trying to de-board a subway car for the last working restroom.

“STOP!” I commanded, freezing them all — yes, even the dogs — on the porch, just inches away from a small white package with the word Liquid written in several places in black marker. The name on the return address wasn’t one I immediately recognized. The fact that it was from a foreign country (Canada) made it even more…

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About thedailygrime

At that awkward age - too young to be a grumpy old man, but just acerbic and downtrodden enough to have an opinion. Read it here.

6 responses to “You can’t be too careful when it comes to packages from Canada”

  1. Ned's Blog says :

    It wasn’t from Canada, was it? Because I know a guy…

    • thedailygrime says :

      It wasn’t from Canada as far as I know Ned. But maybe I should try this Maple Syrup malarky. I’Ve never had it before. Is it any good?

      • Ned's Blog says :

        It really is delicious, I have to say.
        Seriously, I’m now under contract with Sirop D’erable…

      • eden baylee says :

        Mike, I’m not a fan of it, but I don’t really like sweets. If you do, real maple syrup can’t be beat.

        As a kid, I had corn syrup , a cheap substitute , (oh my god, was that horrible)…

        Once you’ve had the real thing, you can’t go back.

        Email me your addy, I’ll send you a can.


      • thedailygrime says :

        Would you really do that? That is a very touching gesture Eden. I’ll Email you my address. Perhaps I can return the favour by sending you some Marmite, Irn Bru or Ovaltine. I gather all three have recently been banned in Canada. Something to do with additives, apparently.

  2. eden baylee says :

    Michael, of course! What’s maple syrup between friends? 😉

    Erm … as for Marmite, Irn Bru or Ovaltine … umm… how can I put this so you won’t be offended?

    NO! Please no!

    Yes, email me or DM me.

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