Fully Fashioned War Machines

Fully Fashioned War Machines – Why T Shirts and Hoodies Are Part Of  A  Sinister Plot To Reduce The Population And Make Telly More Exciting

 

 

Boys Will Be Boys. Jeez, You’d Think Wouldn’t Ya?

A Group Of Emos. The Collective Noun Is A “Desperation”. There’s Always A Fat One

 

I’m seeing teenagers walking all around me and I just want to grab them and shake them. Especially the boys with this weird girly hair thing they’ve got going on. It’s so tempting to just take a Polaroid, thrust it in their hands and say “Keep this. When you look at it in five years time, the skin on the back of your neck will be trying to crawl off the top of your head. You’ll truly know the meaning of the word excruciating.”

The Suicide Dilution

The Suicide Dilution – The Creeping Death That Threatens The NHS

The Secretary of State for Health. No, Seriously, He Is.

That’s a picture of Jeremy Hunt. He’s Secretary of State for Health. And I don’t trust him. I don’t trust any politician of course, but I particularly don’t trust this one. I think it’s the hair.

And the award for most spam toolbars installed in your IE browser goes to:

Reblogged from Things Could Be Worse:

It’s A Knockout

It’s A Knockout – In Praise Of My Secret Love. The Eurovision Song Contest

The Eurovision Song Contest is on. Tonight! Here’s why you should watch it.

Games Without Frontiers

 

Peter Gabriel. This Wasn’t A Eurovision Entry. He Did This Sort Of Thing All The Time

I fucking LOVE The Eurovision Song Contest. On the face of it, this should be a really peculiar anomaly in my life. I’m quite well educated and reasonably intelligent. I read books. Lots of them. I watch documentaries about quantum physics. I follow Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s attempts at making time travel a reality with avid interest. But still, I fucking LOVE The Eurovision Song Contest.

The Joy And Pain Of Porn

The Joy And Pain Of Porn – How Cave Paintings And Greek Pottery Inevitably Resulted In The Internet.  

The Victorians Had A Word For It

This Looked A Lot Classier On The Wall Of The Cave

When the first Paleolithic artist seized some charcoal from the dying embers of that new fangled fire thing, what do you think he drew? Woolly Mammoth? Sabre Toothed Tiger? Giant Elk? Of course not. He drew one of three rudimentary representations: a pair of tits, a hairy fanny or a spunky cock. Most likely a spunky cock. None of these early artworks exist because he rubbed them out before his mum got back from gathering wood. But we’ll get back to that point later.

FUCK

FUCK  – The Embarrassing Truth About The Origins Of Words

Bill Hicks Had A Very Good Point

Looks Like We Got Us A Reader.

You read blogs, yes? Presumably this means that you like words. Well, I’m going to see how committed you are to this premise by talking about one of my minor pet peeves. Folk etymology. Now, if you’ve had to immediately reach for a dictionary to look up the word “etymology”, there’s no need to feel ashamed.

It’s not a word that crops up very often, even in the most erudite of conversations, so I won’t judge you for not knowing it. I didn’t know what it meant prior to looking it up in the dictionary. And a good working definition of a fool is someone who doesn’t know something you only found out yourself the day before. In fact, I assumed that it meant “the study of insects”. No. That’s entomology. Etymology is, in fact, the study of the origins of words. Though you probably got that from the title anyway. You’ll notice I didn’t put an exclamation mark on the end of “FUCK”  in that title. This isn’t a musical.

Ers Vs Ologists

Ers Versus Ologists – The Secret Link Between Feminists And Serial Killers

Psycho Killer – Qu‘est-ce que c’est?

 

I Love These Monday Morning Strategy Meetings

Top flight business executives and serial killers have two things in common. The Warrior Gene and zero frontal lobe activity. The Warrior Gene makes you more likely to take risky decisions and zero frontal lobe activity makes empathy virtually impossible. Very useful traits in both careers. In short, top flight business executives and serial killers are both examples of  psychopaths.

Slight Second Life

SLIGHT SECOND LIFE – How Women Are Like Computers And Why There Is Absolutely Nothing You Can Do About It

I’d Have Dropped My Bacon Sandwich If I Ever Actually Cooked

I Think You’ll Find You’re Eating That The Wrong Way Round Young Man

A few years ago, I clicked on a hyperlink which led me to a page declaring : “Congratulations on reaching the end of the internet. You may now go out and get a life”. This was such an amazing revelation that it caused me to physically flinch and spill my Jolt Cola all over the remnants of my Dominoes Meat Feast Special pizza.

Little Specks Of Blood And Bone

LITTLE SPECKS OF BLOOD AND BONE – Why You Are Actually A Serial Killer And How Society Is Definitely To Blame

This Charming Man

Well, Definitely Murder On Your Meat Anyway

Meat is murder. Well known fact. Morrissey banged on about in some album back in the Eighties. Thankfully I only know that information second hand. Nature and nurture have endowed me with many psychological flaws, but the urge to listen to anything by The Smiths has never been one of them. No over rated Johnny Marr janglings in my iPod.

Divorce By Default

DIVORCE BY DEFAULT – Why Our Concept Of Marriage Is Outdated And How To Fix That Problem

You Probably Want To Put Some Calamine Lotion On That

Don’t Mind Me Darling. You Scratch Away

Divorce is a deeply unpleasant experience, but thousands of couples every year choose it as a more palatable alternative to being married. It can happen in just about any stage of a marriage, but there is a common danger point, often referred to as Seven Year Itch. Various reasons are trotted out for this phenomenon, most being something to do with childbirth (or lack of) and hormones. I think that the real reason is much simpler and more fundamental.